being unseen

at 10 pm, he went to bed with a jumbled mind. it was because of being a "social" person in the afternoon. to him, it felt... not great nor bad, and left him with thoughts.

at 2 am, his sleep disorder woke him up. his mind was empty a bit, then jumbled with thoughts again. he tried to untangle it. things resolved back to "being unseen". it was a "common" enough pain for him. he realized it might be unconsciously his behavior: to not show himself because he is afraid that he would be unseen.

he wondered if that's why he felt that related to the pink guy/filthy frank act. it's about the fully expressive things a person can do, which contradicts to his fear of acting out, the fear of being unseen, even when he acts out.